Weight Loss for Women Over 40 - Lisa Duke Coaching

Resenting the People You Love Most is Not the Vibe

Dec 1, 2023

Resenting the people you love most is not the vibe.

When we always put ourselves last and put others first, at some point we have nothing left.

And when we have nothing left to give, we lash out to protect ourselves.

That lashing out is often aimed at those we love most, because that's where it's most safe and because they are the ones we've let step all over us.

But what if we were more confident?

More able to ask for what we want?

More willing to sit in the discomfort of renegotiating our roles and responsibilities, at home and at work?

It might first get worse.

But what if it then got so much better?

This is bigger than weight loss.

This is reducing what's making us feel bad, so that we don't need a cookie to feel better.

Voluntary discomfort now, for more balance and power then.

With food, with work, with life.

Let's shift things now, so our daughters don't have to live like this.

So WE don't have to live like this.

It's possible.

I can help.

https://LisaDuke.net/schedule to start.

Results Not Typical, But Possible

Nov 1, 2023

This client and I worked together for 4 sessions.

That's it.

One package.

One round.

And she's been DIYing it ever since.

Is this typical?

Definitely no.

I recommend the entire 4 month program for best results.

But for this client, all she needed was a kickstart, and she's been off to the races!

Sure, it might not work for you. That's why there's a money-back guarantee, just in case.

But what if it would?

There's only one way to find out.

https://LisaDuke.net/schedule to start.

Weight Loss Without The Drama

Oct 1, 2023

I’m actively working on losing a little bit of weight right now (down 5 pounds, and I’d like to lose 5 more).

And, I had a slice of flourless chocolate cake last night after a dinner of filet mignon, asparagus, and a slice of buttery bread at The Sundial Restaurant in Atlanta (ask for Ann!).

It’s entirely possible that this one meal will slow me down or set me back.

And that’s ok.

I’m not in a big hurry, because what I’m doing to lose weight is sustainable, so I’m not in a rush to get the weight off so I can go back to eating in the way that put the weight on (!).

I eat healthy by default.

When I choose to make an exception it’s a choice.

When the exception is over, I go back to the default.

It doesn’t mean anything about my character and whether or not I will succeed.

Healthy default – exception – healthy default

No drama.

If that sounds like where you'd like to be, I can help you get there. https://LisaDuke.net/schedule to start.

“Everything in my life is working but my weight.”

Sep 1, 2023

When I was a kid, we had a spare bedroom that, over time, became the “junk” room.

If any area of the public-facing part of the house was messy and we were expecting visitors, my mom would just grab all the offending items and stick them in that junky spare bedroom.

If we ended up with what we did not want – junk room.

Yesterday I was in a session with a client and she said, “everything in my life is working but my weight.”

It was at the end of the call and kind of flew past me, but it stuck in my head, and here I am still thinking about it 24 hours later.

Why?

Because she believes that it's true, but upon further reflection, I've realize that it absolutely is not true.

I'm not going to go all into her personal business here, but trust me when I say she has some STUFF that she hasn't cleaned up yet.

And that STUFF is making her feel bad.

And then she's eating to make herself feel better, and to distract herself from the discomfort of looking at those areas, and then telling herself her weight is the only issue in her life.

It's like my mom saying the house is clean. It was, except for that one room. 🙂

The chaos of that one area is a catch all for the hidden chaos of the other areas.

For some people, a few easy tweaks are all they need to lose weight.

For this client? She's going to need to be honest about the areas of life that are not working the way she wants and choose to sit in the discomfort of looking at that, instead of eating to cover it up.

It's a hard sell, because it feels awful.

But sitting in the truth is what gives us clarity about what we do not want in those other areas, and the clarity gained from looking at what we do not want reveals what we do want.

So by refusing to put another item in the junk room, we have to be honest that we are just not decorative-wreath people, even though we love the person who gave it to us.

And by refusing to put another junk food item into our mouths, we have to be honest that we are not happy with our job, or a key relationship, or whatever is causing us the pain we've been distracting from with emotional eating or stress eating.

And while that kind of honesty may force us to either shift our thinking or our circumstances, addressing the real problem is the only true solution.

When we start addressing real problems and getting true solutions, over time our lives start to work better, and we start to feel better, and that bowl of ice cream loses some of its appeal.

Weight loss from the inside out.

If you do it differently, it just might change your life.

If this is the kind of work you want to do, I'm here to help. https://LisaDuke.net/schedule to start.

Understanding The Model

Aug 1, 2023

Get perspective on why you do what you do with The Model

I'd like to share a brief introduction to a great tool I learned at The Life Coach School called The Model.

Did you see the movie The Secret?

If so, you know it introduced the concept of The Law of Attraction. Which basically states that we get more of what we are putting out, whether we want to or not.

For example, we've probably all had that experience of “getting out of the wrong side of the bed”, where something goes wrong and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

And we've all noticed politically that people who think alike tend to hang out together, and that the more they do so, the more enthusiasm they develop for those ideas, and the more they flatly reject ideas that don't fit their paradigm.

That's totally fine and totally natural, but if that's how the world works, here's the question:

If I don't like what I'm getting in life, what am I thinking and feeling that's bringing this to me?

In other words, if we have perceptual filters that shape how we see the world, how do we step outside of our own brains and see what's happening?

That's where The Model comes in.

It's a tool you can use with a coach who trained at The Life Coach School, and once you get the hang of it, you can DIY it to get visibility into what's going on.

The model basically states that when something happens (our Circumstance), how we think about and react to that Circumstance is often more important that the Circumstance itself.

So a thing happens, and we have a Thought about that thing – that Circumstance.
Our Thought about that Circumstance drives how we Feel about it emotionally.
And what we think and feel about the thing determine our response to it – our behavior – our Action.
And those Actions give us our Results.

So if we want to know “why do I keep eating ice cream after lunch every day?” or “why do I keep eating chips in front of the TV every night?”, all we have to do is identify how we were feeling the last time it happened, and what our thought was that got the ball rolling on the feeling.

Now yeah, sometimes there's no big reason. Sometimes it's just a habit that we haven't paid much attention to. But as soon as we try to break that habit, we are going to have some Feelings about that. It might just be an urge. Or it might be some emotions we didn't want to feel, and we were using the eating to avoid those feelings.

Now, is this always how absolutely everything happens? Probably not.

I believe there are times our body reacts before our minds have time to even have a thought – like that time I nearly stepped on a snake while hiking. Pretty sure I basically levitated away from that snake before I thought much about it.

But for the most of the challenges most of us face in the modern world, using a tool like the model to gain clarity on why we are doing what we are doing (first after the fact, and then later often in the moment) starts to give us more power and agency to choose our reactions to life.

And I can tell you from experience that once we start to get some agency over ourselves and therefore over our lives, it starts to be a lot more fun.

Want to learn more? Sign up for a free initial consultation to learn more about becoming a client. Details on my program and an online calendar available at https://LisaDuke.net/schedule

Done with Being NOT Done with Weight Loss?

Jul 4, 2023

Are you done with being NOT done with weight loss?

I had a great chat recently with a client in which we talked about how much of her brainspace during the day has gone to weight-related issues.

Worrying about whether or not she was doing enough exercise to lose weight.

Thinking about when she'd get to eat next and what she should eat and whether or not she should eat and what she definitely should not eat.

Thinking about how her stomach looks and why it's suddenly squishy and is that related to perimenopause and what even is perimenopause and why didn't anyone send us a letter or an email letting us know that was coming and how it would affect our belly fat.

What if all that was just – done?

What could she accomplish in this world with that lovely big brain if it wasn't working on this issue anymore?

What could all of us do together?

I'm not exactly sure how we smash the patriarchy and save the planet, but I'm pretty sure we won't have bandwidth to get to it until we can get the weight thing done once and for all.

And that's what I do. Guaranteed or your money back.

Let's get started. Book your complimentary initial consultation at https://LisaDuke.net/schedule

How to Avoid Vacation Weight

May 4, 2023

I have a client who recently went on vacation and ate a few things that were off her normal plan. She didn't gain weight, but was really being hard on herself for not behaving “perfectly”.

Here's an excerpt from my email to her, which I'm sharing publicly in the hopes it will be helpful to you as well.

I hear so many stories of people either deciding ahead of time to go crazy or accidentally going crazy on vacation that you did really well by comparison.

Some people think throwing out healthy eating = vacation, and I don't agree with that. We want to do our best to eat healthy wherever we go. And that's easier some places than others.

And ALSO – for me personally, if there truly is a special food on vacation that's not available at home, I want to have the experience of trying it.

Imagining going to Paris and only eating iceberg lettuce. The food is part of the culture of the place, which for me is what I'm there to experience.

Only eating lettuce in Paris would be a cultural crime almost as bad as only eating McDonald's in Paris.

So we go, we experience, we enjoy. And we know that we can enjoy trying something in a few bites. We can enjoy a trip without eating to the point of discomfort. We can enjoy the trip even more when we don't regret our choices when we get home.

I have a client who says guilt has calories, and while it's not literally true, I think it can hit your body that way. Guilt raises your cortisol (stress hormone). Cortisol blocks weight loss and increases belly fat. So we set an intention to eat healthy, and when we make an exception by choice or by accident, we don't add guilt to it. If there's learning, get the lesson, and then move on.

If this is the sort of support you think would help you improve your relationship with food while losing weight and improving your health, let's work together. The first step is a free initial consultation to make sure you are a fit for my program and to get your questions answered. More information and my scheduling calendar is available at https://lisaduke.net/schedule

What is The Energy of Weight Loss?

May 3, 2023

In order to lose weight we have to shift out of shame/guilt/apathy and grief (if applicable) about losing weight/current weight/body and start using at least fear (or better yet, desire) as our “emotional fuel”.

We know from The Model that negative feelings usually produce negative actions, so we don't want to use that as fuel.

We also don't want to flip into denial or toxic positivity. Our negative emotions are real and deserve our attention. Ignoring them doesn't make them go away, it just makes them subconscious, where they still end up running the show without our knowledge or consent.

With that being said, after we've felt our feelings and cleared some of the limiting beliefs/Younger Selves that are causing them, we have to start redirecting our brain to the positive models to get a positive result.

Want to know how to do that? I have a 16 week program that will give you the education and skills to do exactly that.

The first step is a free initial consultation. Learn more and book an appointment at https://lisaduke.net/schedule

ACE for Weight Loss – How It Works

Dec 30, 2022

My ACE Weight Loss Methodology is a unique and innovative approach to weight loss that lasts.

We are solving the root cause instead of temporarily covering up the symptoms.

So how does it work?

ACE stands for:

AWARENESS. The next time you sit down for a snack in front of the TV after dinner, ask yourself, “if I am not hungry because I just had dinner, and I want to lose weight, why am I eating this?” We need to bring awareness to the eating we are doing for non-hunger reasons. It's the easiest eating to cut out without triggering deprivation.

CLEARING. We need to clear out all the non-hunger reasons we are eating. Are we reaching for chips when we feel stressed and angry? Ice cream when we feel anxious? Are we eating sweets because factory-food has been engineered to create addiction? Is there even something from childhood or a past life driving the non-hunger eating? Once we clear the drivers of non-hunger eating, we need much less willpower to chose not to eat when we are not in need of fuel.

ENERGY. This may sound a little woo-woo, but there's an energy of weight loss. Once we've cleared all the heavy stuff that's been holding us back, we naturally feel more optimistic and positive. We naturally choose lighter foods when we are eating for health and fuel. We act differently when we see the possibility is real.

Let's work together. Only $495 for 4 sessions, and everyone who completes all 16 sessions of the program is covered by my unconditional money back guarantee for up to a year after completing the program.

https://lisaduke.net/schedule to book your initial consultation for free today.

ACE for Weight Loss – Step 3

Dec 23, 2022

ACE – Step 3

Step 3 of my proprietary methodology to help you get to and heal the root cause of your excess weight is ENERGY.

It may sound a little woo, but there's an emotional state that goes with weight loss.

It's the energy of “it's working, it's working, it's working”.

It's a positive expectation that changes your behavior.

You see, the pleasure of looking and feeling more vibrant and alive that comes from eating food that supports your health in quantities your body can easily process can actually become more compelling than a bag of Halloween candy.

It doesn't mean you'll never have a treat again.

It means you'll be eating chocolate or ice cream or chips for pleasure and free from guilt and shame, and that eating those things will be something you occasionally choose to do, rather than feel compelled to do.

Or you may lose your taste for them forever and wonder what all the fuss was about.

When you are in the energy of overweight, the solution to overweight is invisible/impossible.

When you in the energy of your healthy weight, the solution is obvious/simple.

It sounds a bit ephemeral, and it's kind of tricky to explain, but like porn, you know it when you see it. 🙂

Let's get you into the energy of a healthy body that's at a healthy weight because it's eating healthy food in healthy quantities.

It's an energy you deserve to be in.

From here, so much more is possible.

Schedule your free initial consultation today by visiting https://lisaduke.net/schedule